Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Monday17112008

Dear Diary,

Here I am, in my bed, in my dark room (having somehow slept until 11:30 in the morning), wondering about a possible way to really reach out to myself - does it exist after all?

I'd gone to bed after sending vaguely embarrassing responses to a couple of help-wanted ads, and in my anticipation, as I curled up in the blankets and felt my body lying there, I seemed to have gotten closer to a certain intimacy with myself.

Now I feel that I've lost it, partly because there weren't any replies when I woke up today, but I really ought to try to find it again - maybe just to look in a mirror until I feel myself getting close to me, "to you" even. I just said "to you" because I want "you" to be a reflection in my mirror.

Terribly narcissistic, but what if it became an ideal: what if we were all one collective personality, watching itself in a single enormous mirror?